Confession of A Tired Mama

I had a very hard time putting my Sarah to bed tonight. I don't know why everything seems to be uncomfy for her. This is the mommyhood, i know. Everything will have it ups and downs. I tried my best to calm down.

I am alone, my husband went to a kenduri with my FIL. He may get back at 11 onwards. Whatever it is, i have to get her to sleep immidiately.

I let her out of her cot and put her at floor. She crawl towards the table lamp with the intention of grabbing the wire. I pull and grab her hand and put her in a walker. She cried out loud but i pretended not to hear it, yes to ignore her. She seems to understand and shut up. Good baby. Mama is so tired so please understand okeh. I lay down at the couch while taking a very deep breath..

As i felt better and calmer, i looked at her. She looked so sad with her tears at the corner of the eye. I feel so bad as i have neglected my own child. I called her name and she cried immidiately. Now i know that she too, was holding her feeling. She must be sad, not be loved and feel neglected.

I hugged her and say sorry. I Love love love love you Sarah.