I Am Officially Broke.

Never been in my entire life, i felt this guilty of my spending. All this while, i have been very careful and choosy when buying things. I really value my hard earn money and spending it like nobody's business is just so not me.

I have been thinking about my March purchased for the past weeks. Although I never failed to save certain RM of the total salary every month, I still felt something is just not right. No, it is not because I have been absorbed with so many kinds of investment, future and finance planning from certain friends who are so into these things nowadays. Maybe they kinda so-called influence me but still in a good way. So let see, what have been bugging my mind at the moment.

3 years ago, when I earned (A), I save (X).

But now,

I already earn (C), but I still save (X)

Now, dah clearly seen my flaw kan?

Bolehlah if nak sedapkan hati sendiri lalu mengeluarkan statement begini.

3 years ago, when I earned (A), I save (X) and I don't have a baby

But now,

I already earn (C), but I still save (X) but I already have a baby.

Tapi still tak boleh pakai alasan ini because I only spent my salary for the babysitter and her clothing sometimes. People are so right when they comes with " Lebih besar periuk, lebih besar kerak nya" Adat manusia bila dah bergaji lebih mesti pada satu ketika ingin mendapatkan apa yang selama ini di hajati. Dan bila hajat telah dipenuhi, ia akan leads to another hajat and another, akhirnya sehingga kita sendiri takkan rasa puas. Apabila hajat kita tidak dapat diperolehi, jadi apa yang kita nak buat? Duduk diam membisu atau berusaha untuk mencapai hajat itu. Dan beusaha pada saya ada dua cara;-

1) Either usaha untuk menjana extra income dengan cara ini still dapat splurge and save more. Cuma perlu lebih sacrifice ya.

ataupun,

2) Mengubah cara perbelanjaan. I think this one lebih applicable dengan saya. Tak occupied (mungkin another alasan saja) untuk buat part time job. Bila difikir-fikir balik, my spending is totally out of control. Mungkin saya exaggerate sikit, tak lah out of control sangat sebab I tak charge to my cc, and kalau ikutkan I still can afford to buy that. Cuma, bila di fikir kan semula, how nice kan, instead of I spend it, lebih baik contribute to my saving like instead of (C), I should save (E) by now and bayangkan keseronokannya bila sudah ada (J), boleh terus membina rumah impian dengan bantuan pinjaman mungkin sebanyak 30K. atau kalau terer boleh terus kumpul sampai (M). Errr...faham kah anda apa yang saya cuba mention disini?

Sometimes, saya terfikir yang why can't I be the old myself? Diri saya yang 3 tahun dulu:-

1) Takde sibuk-sibuk nak pakai M.A.C macam sekarang dan berpuas hati dengan Silkygirl kerana ia berupaya menutup bekas jerawat yang banyak memberi wajah yang segar bermekap.

2) Hanya pakai produk Olay Total Effects je dan rasa bila beli 5 sheet masks berharga RM 49.90 terasa sangat mahal, tapi beli juga kerana sebulan sebelum berkahwin tiba-tiba muka dijangkiti jerawat yang sangat banyak selepas menggunakan produk Natasya. Tapi sekarang kenapa gatal muka nak pakai produk Kose? Tapi saya mengaku a few friends complimented my face after pakai produk ni. Boleh kah ini menjadi excuse?

3) Kenapa dulu boleh berdiet sendiri-sendiri, kawal makan sendiri dan siap ada book journal yang di secretly di tulis dan di calculate pengambilan kalori seharian? Kenapa dulu boleh buat excercise keliling tasik Uniten 3 round non stop? Tapi kenapa sekarang sibuk nak consume HL **laugh**poco-poco**laugh** itu? Mana boleh kurus macam itu saja? At least mesti excersice. Speaking of the diet kan, saya ada seorang kawan yang saya adore atas kesungguhan dia untuk menguruskan badan. Tak percaya? cuba klik sini. Korang sure kagum dengan dia.

Eh..eh, saya dah melalut banyak dah ni. Okay.okay cerita sebenarnya ialah saya geram sebab dah berbelanja lebih tak according to my plan.

Alkisahnya, ingat tak last week saya nak beli Kose Emulsion tapi beauty advisor dekat Kose The Curve takde? Jadi, I planned to get one last Sunday. Kebetulan, nak accompany my sis to buy her wedding bedsheet at Aussino. I received a letter from Kose a few days before that and they are having a promo on the newly launched product called SHIROSUMI. So this shirosumi essence is claimed to achieve baby-soft skin and zero spot. Plus, there is an additional gift for the purchase as well.

I ignored the promo at first because konon-konon wanna stick to the plan and the Shirosumi is quite pricey for a 30 ml essence. Tapi entah macam mana, bila dah berborak-borak with the beauty advisor, saya terus intrigued and agreed to buy that. Not only the Shirosumi, but I bought the cleanse powder too but it is still okay. Saya cuma regret of buying the Shirosumi because my usual Kose emulsion costs only RM 158 but with 140 ml. But this Shirosumi is 30 ml and the price is RM 188. The emulsion lasts me for 6 months but this shirosumi? I just don't know yet. I felt very regret for buying that and fell into the promise of " achieving baby soft skin and zero spot". Kalau muka saya tak licin macam Sarah, siaplah..

Rembatan yang menyakitkan kepala.

Can I achieve a flawless skin like hers?

This is my major fault for this month. I shall stay away from shopping malls kalau nak duit selamat. Itupun, pada hari yang sama, nyaris-nyaris nak beli buku "Malaysian Politicians Say The Darndest Things" tapi tak beli sebab macam tak worth. Tapi ia hilarious lah.. sempat sneak peek kat Borders hari tu.

Jadi, apa countermeasure untuk perilaku terlampau saya ni? Diri sendiri cadangkan:-

1) Hari-hari makan nasi lauk sambal tempe sahaja di cafe supaya suatu hari nanti muka saya licin berseri seperti Dr Khir Toyo dan tak perlu memakai Kose.

2) Hari-hari balik lalu jalan short cut dari Kilang Lafarge ke Kuang dan bersedia menempuh dugaan pokok tumbang dan wear and tear kereta saya. Absorbers ya..dah rasa tau.

3) Cuba untuk mix HL dengan air sahaja dan bukan less sugar soy bean untuk cut cost.

4) Hujung minggu sila lah masak di rumah dan menjadikan kitchen sebagai second bestfriend.

5) Cepat-cepat claim medical Sarah.

Ini aja yang saya dapat fikirkan setakat ini. 16 days to go before the pay day, and yet I am officially broke. ;(